Making Curtains

Dude.  I totally made these curtains last week.

I know, I know.  I already told you that.  But now I'm going to tell you how I made them.  

First of all, I needed a sewing machine.  I didn't have one.  Wife took me out shopping last week, knowing that I'd been cruising Craigslist looking for a cheap, secondhand machine.  She walked me into Joann Fabrics and informed me that I would not be buying an old machine, but would in fact be getting a new one.  Mostly because I'm probably going to break it, so she thought I should get something warrantied.  Which is, admittedly, a really good idea.

I ended up with this one.

Not only does it come with a 10-year manufacturer's warranty, there's also a 1-year in-store warranty - which means that if (when) I break it, if it's been less than 1 year since I bought it, I can take it back to Joann's and the nice ladies at Mainely Sewing Machines will fix it for me.  Thank goodness.

We picked out some fabric that would make cute curtains for the bathroom and bedroom, since those rooms were the most urgently in need of curtains.  Really, it was urgent - if we didn't stand in the right spot in the bathroom to change, our neighbors could see us.  Which means that the neighbors have probably seen my boobies about a dozen times since we moved in, because I am forgetful.  Oops.

I spent some time cruising the Internet to figure out how in the world I would make these curtains.  I signed up for AllFreeSewing.com, to look at some patterns and tutorials.  And then I found one.  Suzannah at Adventures in Dressmaking broke everything down so clearly, I decided this was the tutorial I would use.

So I made all my measurements.  I carefully added in the half-inch foldovers for the hems,  THEN added in the width of my actual hem (because if you don't, apparently the raw edges will wear down and your hems will fall out, and you'll be left with a sad, sorry mess).  I cut and tore my fabric to get my edges straight; I carefully folded, pinned, pressed, and pinned again.  I had threaded my machine with a carefully-coordinated shade of teal green thread, so when the curtains finally were pinned into shape, I sat down, lined everything up - and started to sew.

And promptly jammed the machine.

Apparently, pinheads don't fit well under the sewing foot of the machine.  The result?  The hems on my first set of curtains are puckery and zig-zagged - not purposefully, like zig-zag stitching, but incidentally, since my first reaction was - I kid you not - to just swerve around the pins while sewing.

. . .

It's a damn good thing Wife loves me and thinks it's cute that I'm trying to reteach myself to sew.  I foresee lots more crooked sets of curtains in our future.